Letting go.

The old adage by Richard Bach: " If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were...."
So simple, isn't it. Let them go...and either they come back or not. They are either yours or not.
The thought of waiting around for another to make an important decision that directly affects me and my happiness essentially can be summed up in my mind with one word: SUCKS.

Why do we struggle so much in the matter of Love? Why is it so hard to just--let--go, especially in matters of the heart?

Love in this purest of forms demands and entails self sacrifice and the surrender of complete control; The total effacement of one's ego and making the self vulnerable to the whims of another. If we, as intelligent human beings, can change things and make things happen -humans are movers and shakers- why don't we just do so? It is a natural human instinct to be DOING. Why be a passive being and just let things happen TO us; in other words, let the chips fall where they may?

Because, things may not fall into the right comfortable place and our hearts will likely BREAK.

Being in relationships where I put the most extraordinary and the mightiest effort to protect it from any and every real and perceived external threat possible, to assure myself that my love would choose to be with me and ONLY ME, drained every ounce of positive energy from my soul.

There really wasn't anything I could do to prevent my love from leaving with another suitor, once he chose to leave the safety of my arms and the loving embrace of my heart.

In the end, my heart ended up breaking, because in the end, I had no choice but to let go and let the chips fall where they would land, and my heart broke into a thousand million pieces anyway. It broke when I first found myself fighting to protect it, and it broke when I finally had to let go. It didn't matter. It broke and it hurt. It left me dazed and confused and questioning if this all was happening and if this was all for real, or a terrible, horrible, bad dream.

Anyway, like the law of physics, an equal and opposite force will be applied back if one applies a certain force forward.

Deep down, I knew the simple saying was right.

I let go, and the person CHOSE not to be with me, and hence, the person was never mine, nor was the person obviously ever meant to be with me. But, I was set free to come back all alone to me, and to start loving myself.

It is still a struggle for me. Every single day. I feel the cold clammy fear of losing my love to a perceived external threat, whether logical or illogical. But I know this: it is just easier to let go and just Be, than to be with someone that doesn't deserve you.