What a day.

Today was truly a sad day.

1) Started out with a family whose codependency issues wrecked havoc on the schedule.
Mother with Parkinson's, in total denial about her failing vision. Claiming that the routine eye drops used for examination made her vision far worse than even before she had her exam. Her vision was barely 20/80 when she first saw me last week; Not that great by most standards, but she was able to be refracted to 20/30, better than any young person.
But she claimed over and over that it was because her eyes were still dilated from the drops, over a week later. If that were true, her husband, whom I examined right after, would have dilated eyes as well. Dilation lasts at most a day. Well after being berated and humiliated in front of the waiting room patients by her son, I brought her in to be examined and showed him not only was her pupils back to normal size, but she had dense cataracts. Besides that, her vision was mercifully even BETTER than when she first presented last week at 20/50, so her and her son's claim that I made her vision worse with my exam was shot to HELL.
But, with no apologies and no humbleness, she proceeded to refuse any glasses, because she says all glasses give her headaches and she just won't have it. But her vision is worse now. Unbelievable. But believable. A neurological illness such as Parkinson's is similar to dementia. Her son was strangely quiet after he caused a scene in front of my packed waiting room.
No even an apology.
Ofcourse.
False Accusations hurt everyone.

2) Another patient walked out with a critical piece of equipment. Seemingly insignifcant, but necessary to perform diagnostic testing using the state of the art ophthalmic equipment. She made off with an eye patch. That would make number 2 gone. People like the special eye patch because it looks a bit like the pirate one, but the difference is these are made to filter all room lights out for the critical testing, whereas the costume ones are for fun and show. Since she walked out with the very last one that I needed for my 4 machines, the other patients suffered who needed the diagnostic testing for their neurological pathologies. They could not have their critical testing done.
I actually called the patient and told her that I would not question her at all if she returned the patch; we needed it so badly for our next patients.
When she returned it, I gave her a gift certificate to the cafeteria, because she was actually honest enough to admit she had it and bring it back.
It was, actually very big of her.
Dishonesty and theft hurts everyone, but she did the right thing.

3) I discovered one of the china tea cups I let patients use for drinks went missing today. The tech had a good idea who took it. We called her family, but ofcourse, the denial was issued. This was especially sad, because I am now implementing a new policy that we will no longer give out snacks and drinks to the patient during dilation as they wait. Signs will go up.
Again, dishonesty and theft hurts everyone.

There were other things that added to the day of overwhelming frustration, stress, and sadness. Exhausted, I ponder how to remain hopeful and forgiving and loving and behave and act as God would want me to behave. Is He with me when all these things were happening? What was the lesson in all of these experiences He wants me to learn? Is he protecting me? How.....does He really want me to be happy?

All I could wish for was some kind of respite and relief from all of this. Some kind of comfort. Someone's loving arms around me, a hug, and kind word that tells me that since I endeavor to do the right and decent thing everyday, that I'm doing good, despite all the bad around me. And it will be alright; Good will triumph. That there is hope in this world despite all the little bad things people do or say to and about you.

I wish, so wish, wish so very much that you were with me....Please God....be there for me too...